Friendship

Today’s blog is dedicated to my friends. They are so important to me and are each amazing in their own way. I can’t thank them enough for helping me through my darkest days. Even at my sickest, when very few understood just how much I was struggling, my friends stayed involved. They would text me, call me, and send me thoughtful gifts. They tried to distract me and make me smile. To be honest, I really didn't feel that I deserved this kindness. And I was so consumed by my ED that at first, I didn't even recognize how much they cared for me. On top of that, I was hating myself so much that it was hard to think anyone else actually could love me. I know my friends struggled too, as they witnessed a friend lose herself, and probably didn’t know what to do. It certainly can get old to have a friend who is barely functioning. I can’t imagine having to watch someone you love turn into someone so unrecognizable.

One thing that I have learned during recovery is that anorexia, like perhaps addiction generally, makes you SO selfish. I became so self-absorbed. Every moment of every day, I thought about the next meal that I wasn’t going to eat; the next appointment that I was going to have to speak at; the terrible things my ED voice would tell me. And then, as I started to recover, all of my energy went into just taking whatever next step I had to take. I was exhausted for an entire year. It was all so much that I started to forget the importance of the relationships around me.

Through all of this, so many friends were so incredibly nice and patient with me. But I really want to acknowledge one person who seriously outdid herself during this time. She was basically losing her best friend for months and never once complained. She never once asked me to stop being so dramatic. She never once told me I wasn't giving her enough. She never said a peep of how shitty of a person I had become. Now, I recognize how bad of a friend I was, but in those moments, it was so foggy.

Not only did my best friend stick with me through every struggle of my recovery, she also was a key component to the creation of this website. I would like to give credit where credit is due. She inspired the design of the logo. She came up with the name. She taught me how to make these bracelets. She’s the REAL founder of this campaign.

My best friend is the strongest, kindest, and most selfless person I have ever met. If you are reading this right now (which you better be), I want you to know how thankful I am for you. I wouldn’t be where I am now without you. Thank you so much Touhy.